Progress Can Take Time: A Mom’s Story of Raising a Late Talker

We are the parents of a kind, polite, handsome, tall young man. Oskar is twenty years old. Over the years, we have had to work very hard to get to where we are today.

My labor was induced, and after Oskar was born, our midwife said he could easily have been born on his own a couple of weeks later. She explained that he was still covered in a thick layer of vernix, the protective coating on a baby’s skin, which she felt indicated that he had been born a little too early. Unfortunately, she believed our doctor had miscalculated his due date.

Oskar did not speak until he was four. From the age of two, we took him to a neurologist for a checkup once a year. The neurologist told us that Oskar simply did not have anything to say yet and that everything was within the normal range. Unfortunately, no one advised us to find a speech therapist. Since we had never faced anything like this before, it did not occur to us either.

Thankfully, Oskar’s pediatrician eventually suggested that he might need help from a speech therapist. Finding one was far from easy. At the time, few speech therapists were willing to work with such a young child. By the time we finally found the best speech therapist in the world, Oskar was about five and a half.

We were very fortunate that Oskar formed such a strong bond with her. That connection between a child and their speech therapist is so important for their work together to go well.

Of course, those sessions cost a lot. We were also offered rehabilitation services, and a support plan was put in place. Through that plan, Oskar received publicly funded occupational therapy and speech therapy. Unfortunately, he did not connect with the speech therapist provided through those services, so we continued paying for private sessions with his first therapist.

We are very glad we did, because before long, Oskar began using words. Along the way, we also had to learn some sign language so he could communicate certain things to his teachers at preschool. We were told that the area of his brain responsible for speech was not developed enough, which was why he struggled to speak.

We were very fortunate. A lovely little girl was seeing the same speech therapist at the time, and her difficulties with speech were so severe that she never began speaking. That was very sad.

Because Oskar started speaking so late, he fell a couple of years behind his peers in his development. We changed preschools several times to find smaller groups for him. Eventually, we secured a place at a preschool for children who needed more support.

None of this was easy. Oskar would make friends, and then we would have to move him to another preschool because we wanted the best for him. Thankfully, he adapted quickly, but losing those friendships can leave a lasting mark.

Oskar started school a year later than usual after we applied to postpone his school entry. By the time he started, he could read, which was a lovely surprise given how late he had begun speaking. But understanding things was difficult for him. Reading comprehension was especially hard, and math was a challenge too.

Halfway through first grade, we changed schools as well because a large school was not the right fit for him. We found a lovely house just outside the city, with a school very close by. He stayed there through ninth grade.

It was not an easy road. We requested that Oskar be allowed to attend smaller classes for certain subjects. The school accommodated his needs, which made learning easier. We also had a private tutor come to our home, and that helped a great deal, especially around exam time.

The truth is that this whole journey has been very hard. We have had to move several times. But Oskar has also taught us so much: to change our perspective, listen more, and be more patient.

This year, Oskar agreed to be assessed for autism and ADHD because he shows certain signs of both. However, his results were borderline, and he did not receive a diagnosis of either condition.

After sharing this long story, what I want to say is this: when facing the challenges life brings, try to stay positive and accept the help that is offered. You are not alone in your struggles. Sometimes, you have to explore the different ways you can support yourself and your children so that life can be easier, both now and in the future.

Support from the whole family also makes an enormous difference. We have been fortunate in that respect. Our family is very close.

Our future is bright. Oskar is finishing twelfth grade at an online upper secondary school for adults. He works during the summer, communicates well, and has friends he keeps in touch with. All that hard work and effort has been worth it.